City Island

One thing I’ve noticed about living overseas is that you have to be more proactive in meeting people.  It’s harder than living in your home country, so you need more of a social network. I’ve lived here before and already had some good friends, but I figure you can’t have too many. So last week I took advantage of a program through the Women of the American Church called “Movie Mates,” where people get together once a month for a movie and coffee or lunch afterwards. We saw “City Island” with Andy Garcia, about an Italian-American family living in City Island in the Bronx. At first I wasn’t sure if I liked it because there was a lot of bickering in the family, but I warmed up to it at the end. When I mentioned the movie to some friends in the states, they had never heard of it. It turns out it won’t be released there until March 19. I love it when I see movies before my American friends do – na na na na na!

Anyway, there were only four of us: two Americans, one woman from Scotland and one from the Netherlands. The other American smuggled microwaved popcorn into the theatre in her purse and shared it everyone. It was nice, and in retrospect, I’m glad I was unaware of recent events and able to enjoy the popcorn without worrying about armed policemen confronting us and removing us from the theatre.

Afterwards three of us had lunch in a nearby café. We had a lot in common as foreigners living abroad. The Dutch woman and Scottish woman even found out their respective husbands both work for the same multinational company. One of our biggest shared experiences was our struggle with the language. I was a little surprised when they both said that they chicken out when they’re in public spaces and speak English instead of French, even though they’ve been here longer than me. One said she’ll work her courage up in a store and tell herself “today, I’m really going to speak French,” and then at the last minute when she’s at the cash register all of her French just evaporates. I have to think back to the first time I lived here in the early 90s to remember how I would do the same thing. It’s not that I’m totally fluent now, but my French is better and I don’t worry about it as much as before. They also both had similar feelings about living here in the first place, and talked about how difficult it was and how sometimes they didn't really want to be here, and they would end up staying home all day. Fortunately, that's something that I haven't felt. It's not easy living in a foreign country; sometimes I feel like I’m a toddler all over again, learning everything from the language to mundane things like writing a French check. I have had difficult days, but I've never wished I were living somewhere else. I think the difference is that I decided I wanted to live here and went about the difficult tasks of getting a visa and moving to another country, whereas these other women are here because their husbands’ jobs transferred them to Paris.

Comments

[Jenny N]

Hello Jennifer! I know I would be having to be very proactive in another country, especially Paris because I couldn't keep huddled in too long. I am thinking you might be a big help to bolster the ladies you met. And as to you living in Paris..maybe it is too nosey...butI take it since you've been "bothering the French" for more than a year that you intend to stay a while longer in fair Pah-ree? Just wondering.

[anne]

Hi Jennifer... It would be great if my husband could transfer to Paris :-) of course I would find it hard to converse in French or to do things mundane like French cheques, but I would try my hardest. When I met you it was only my second time there, and I had not been to France for such a long time either, but I was learning as the days went by.

I think the ladies are lucky to have met you, you will be a great help to them.

[Jennifer K]

Hi Jenny N and Anne, awwww you two are so sweet! Thanks. Anne, I noticed you were picking up a lot of French and I can see you fitting in just fine here!